LETS GOOOOOOO

 dose two done who wanna hit??

vaccinated!’n

 *dababy voice* lets GOO (first dose only)

macbeth

i think macbeth is so great. shakespeare's works really have so many moments that are just super poignant with incredible verse. personally, i'm not actually big on plays. but the language itself conveys emotion and drama so well. perhaps it's inaccessible and maybe it's a bit silly to really like it, but something about his writing can feel so powerful. one of my favorite bits from macbeth, and a top excerpt from all of shakespeare, is in act 5 scene 5:

[MACBETH]

        Wherefore was that cry?

SEYTON

        The queen, my lord, is dead.

MACBETH 

        She should have died hereafter;
        There would have been a time for such a word.
        To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
        Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
        To the last syllable of recorded time,
        And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
        The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
        Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
        That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
        And then is heard no more: it is a tale
        Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
        Signifying nothing.

much like king lear, shakespeare is genuinely in his nihilist bag here. i've never known a vicious man like macbeth who stole his crown and kingdom through violence and wicked magic manipulation, but this is exactly how i'd imagine such a person to speak (also note that it's basically him talking to himself!) at his final hour as everything was falling apart. the death of his partner here is just another bit of "sound and fury" that means nothing.

up on the roof thoughts

does anyone else feel like their life experiences broadly speaking can be separated into categories/vibes?

for instance, i’d group together being on my roof, freedom, summertime, talking with friends, being outside, city lights, driving, frank ocean, etc. together. but they could also be grouped with other things and make up a different vibe.

the reason i’ve been thinking about this tonight is because i was thinking about how long life is and how many experiences happen in one’s lifetime. life is _so_ long. my grandma lived through world war ii!!!! isn’t that wild? and i can’t comprehend how long that is or what it’s like to have lived that long — she can, i can’t (at least until i live that long, knock on wood). that’s reaching the limits of empathy/whatever, but that’s another topic.

anyway, we have all these experiences in our lives right. and eventually they meld together more and more, so like far in the future i probably won’t remember the day to day of my life right now, but i might remember general vibes.

so in other words these vibes are like how our brains associate clusters of thought or information i guess. but i also wonder if there’s some way we can use them to our advantage! like is there some way i can specifically avoid vibes preemptively if i know i won’t like them? is there some way to remove bad vibes from my life?

* * *

it’s so weird to me how many different emotions and feelings one can have in the confines of a single day, or single hour, or in a handful of moments. i think social isolation/pandemic vibes have increased most ppls tendency to have mood swings and such for sure, but it’s still true even without that. it just seems to me like life can be so taxing sometimes!

* * *

💫🕊🌹

1. "Flexin'" (Single, 2019)

2. "MPR" (Single, 2019)

3. "Welcome to the Party" (Meet the Woo, 2019)

4. "Get Back" (Meet the Woo 2, 2020)

5. "Dreaming" (Meet the Woo 2, 2020)

6. "Make It Rain" (with Rowdy Rebel) (Shoot for the Stars Aim For the Moon, 2020)

7. "GATTI" (with JACKBOYS, Travis Scott) (JACKBOYS, 2019)

8. "Armed N Dangerous" (Meet the Woo 2, 2020)

9. "Hotel Lobby" (Shoot for the Stars Aim For the Moon, 2020)

10. "Hello" (with A Boogie wit da Hoodie) (Shoot for the Stars Aim For the Moon, 2020)

11. "Yea Yea" (Shoot for the Stars Aim For the Moon, 2020)

12. "War" (with Lil Tjay) (Meet the Woo 2, 2020)

13. "Mannequin" (with Lil Tjay) (Meet the Woo 2, 2020)

14. "Scenario" (Meet the Woo, 2019)

15. "Dior" (Meet the Woo, 2019)

apple music: link

alas, maybe education is a good thing tm

i'll preface this post by admitting that i'm one of those weirdos who actually enjoyed school. mainly that's probably because (in the words of one of my professors) i am/was "good at" school (to be clear, he said [and i am saying] this intending it at least partially as a roast).

i miss school! not even just college, which was great, but being in school in general. i love learning about new subjects and also having near-constant required assignments across many disciplines is the best/only way to keep skills across many disciplines up to snuff.

i've been working in software for about a year and a half at this point (ew), and as i was editing another blog post, i noticed that it felt like writing a more formal/essay-style piece was much, much harder than it was in college. it's not just that i didn't know what to say or something -- i think i had just about as good of an idea of that as i did when i wrote essays before -- it's more that i found it harder to buckle down and focus on the act of writing. it struck me really hard, i think, because i've always considered myself a strong-ish writer and someone who generally enjoys writing.

maybe i'll try to write more formally or seriously on this blog then. something i've been trying to work on as a pseudo-resolution for 2021 is making goals and being better at holding myself accountable for achieving (or at least attempting to achieve) them. to be frank, since graduation, i feel personally like i've sort of fallen off as the dilettante i envision myself as being (or wanting to be). but ultimately, it's unsurprising! it turns out that what you spend your time doing matters quite a bit, and it just so happens that i've spent the majority of my time this past year coding. i've definitely become better at that! i also notice as i'm typing this post that i've become a much better typist. so fwiw, i guess all is not completely lost.

if there's anything to take away from this, i guess i'm becoming more starkly aware that i've departed (for now!) the land of academia and transitioned into the "real world." it turns out that the things i was good at in school were things that i did a lot in school, and the things i'm good at now, i'm good at because i do them a lot. in other words, mindfulness counts!

anyway, sending good, mindful vibes your way. i've been journaling daily and hopefully will blog more and those writing skills will come flying back!

offline vibes influences volume i

 https://graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/07/gap.html/ (link)

 

love this one. so raw .....