https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GhoWZ5qTwI
I'm still obsessed after all these years with the smiths
content vomit... what i'm listening to rn: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/currently/pl.u-38oW74WsPgmljYa
I had this video randomly in my watch later for so long and finally watched it..
Plants may flower, some may wilt
the cockroaches remain
* * *
dreams become reality, or don’t,
the real will always be there for us
till we give back the time we’ve loaned
and all the solid becomes rust
im so happy to become who i have and to keep becoming,
but im losing what i was, and i can't help but feel that pain.
What makes you love a person?
What constitutes love?
What about you did I love?
What justifies pain?
Am I responsible for your pain?
Do you even realize what pain you’ve caused me?
Would you ever?
Or would you prefer to keep living in your own world,
caught in an endless flow of nightmares.
* * *
No one will ever know and who can ever judge
All we can do with the past is leave it be, move on
And the most justice we can do is to avoid repeating
the same harm that we’ve caused or felt before.
* * *
Did I love you?
How far is a light year?
https://poetrysociety.org/poems/with-rue-my-heart-is-laden
With rue my heart is laden
For golden friends I had,
For many a rose-lipt maiden
And many a lightfoot lad.
By brooks too broad for leaping
The lightfoot boys are laid;
The rose-lipt girls are sleeping
In fields where roses fade.
the past had a meaning that will always define you. I remember this as being the first moment as an adult when I realized how powerful memory was. Or at least, it was the first time it hurt the most.
And also realizing there was nothing I could do about the pain of the past: it just settled over me. [My memories] were a part of my life that happened, and now they were gone. That was all. No one else knew about it, no one cared.
- The Shards (Serial), Bret Easton Ellis