My last, San Francisco

My last, san francisco,

is taking myself home

Up hills, down streets, a path my own

My last, san francisco,

is waking up alone

even among so much doubt, this, i know

My last, san francisco,

was taking it all in,

Who knows when I’ll see any of it again

My last, san francisco,

Is all that i won’t forget

Though what I won’t remember, I won’t regret

My last, san francisco,

Is whatever comes next

And for whatever it’s worth, hoping for the best

nothing’s ever been so blue

as starting at the end and ending there too

lol

 

From today

 yerba buena (Eternal Sunshine)

When is the next time I’m gonna see you again?

I think about it all the time,

What we’ve been and what we’ve done

As much as I want to forget

I just want even more to remember

Everywhere is chock full of things i will never  forget

I know

No matter what i want or not

They’ll fade to the past

Further and further

Dimmer like stars out in the firmament

But if one day I come back here,

To this spot,

what torments me

is that they will all come rushing back

and i’ll be even more powerless than i am now

Offline Vibes influence vol. 6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UWiQsDj5cE

Moving

 i’m moving& I have just been in plan/pack/execute mode nonstop and then the idea hit me: that i’m leaving not just SF — which doesn’t rly bother me bc i’ll be back here often enough i’m sure — but i’m leaving my room & apartment.

-so many things- happened to me in this space. seeing it halfway packed up…torn down…is just really poignant . i know the memories are all in the past anyway, they’re done.

it’s been an insane three years seriously i think for everyone.

“your new life is going to cost your old one.”

that’s a tweet i saw a long time back, like at least 1.5 years ago? probably longer? which i knew was true at the time and could faintly resonate with to something i never think about but just _live authentically_

Musing on L.A. and the next few years

 I’ll be moving to L.A. finally in mid July (July 14 is the target date but yet to be “locked in”), and I am more relieved than anything. certainly nervous as well but excited and ready.

I’ve basically been trapped, holed up, isolated and abused in San francisco for the past several years, or at least the last one year, and it’s high time I leave, and even though there’s many places I could go I think LA is the right one for a few reasons:

1. The freedom and expanse is so so so appealing after being again trapped in this peninsula with no access out for years. A car and the open road and so much land to explore and travel. What more contrast could you want — I would not get that on the east coast for instance. And middle america is too close to home, tbh, and i’ve done it all 

2. Social life can finally rehabilitate

3. LA is amazing historically and culturally and there will be so much to learn and experience there

4. I think there’s also a lot there that’s really inspiring and invigorating in a new way, and there’s a reason so many creatives work there besides just the fact that everyone else is there. I want to grow in more ways than just professionally and socially and turn hobbies into passions and so on

So anyway that’s all really good. I’m gonna make it happen, see you all in socal!!

Offline Vibes influence vol.5

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awL_O8f3QQw